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The Prosecution: Beth

At times she films me while I’m eating. It's jarring to spot myself on her social media – it’s like a jumpscare.

A close companion of 10 years, she, calls herself the “content queen”. It can be amusing for a short while, but it strains our friendship.

She is an extrovert, she feels the need to record everything all the time. When we eat out, her motto is, “The camera eats first,” and takes photos with bright lighting, which makes me cringe. It's unpleasant when strangers see her performing for the camera – I experience secondhand embarrassment. Another annoyance is because meals lose their warmth.

She isn’t exactly an influencer yet, but she is aspiring to become one. She creates video blogs about city life, her daily routine, and her styling career. Her content is good, I’ll give her that, but I prefer not to be involved. Sometimes I'm captured while dining, or just accompanying her. I’ll see myself on her feed later, and it comes like a jumpscare: I’ll have bare-faced, making a strange expression or photographed mid-bite. It feels invasive.

She also expects me to record her at inopportune moments. Often I’ll be talking to another person, or we're simply hanging out in the street. The dynamic feels like our friendship has turned into me being her free crew. She has the means to hire someone if she wanted high-quality content. When I brought up my discomfort about this arrangement, she dismissed it. I've been invited to a couple of industry functions, which were appreciated, but that doesn’t make up for all the energy I spend helping her create material.

I’m grateful that Marielle has helped me with my design career, but I don’t want our connection to become just a ledger of favours. I don't believe she’s fake or dishonest, but sometimes it seems that if recording starts, we will begin acting in a way that makes us look good for her channel.

Her directive is, “OK, look happy!” and film me smiling with someone. It feels forced. It's crucial her to recognize that our decade-long friendship still has boundaries. I enjoy spending time with her, but I also desire to enjoy it without being filmed, edited, or shared for an audience. I am not a prop for her online persona.

The Other Side: Marielle

I hope my friend to see that the creations we make together can get us a foot in the door.

I love shooting content. It’s not just a pastime; it’s part of who I am. Producing content and sharing my life online enables me to express myself and connect with people in new ways.

I wouldn't label myself as a full influencer yet, but it's savvy to generate income from your interests. I admire people on TikTok who pull off that aesthetic of informal, self-made film-making.

Creating content is my version of living actively: observing the details, sharing them with an viewership that appreciates the art behind it. It's never my aim to make my friend uneasy. Bringing her to professional gatherings was my way of sharing opportunities, giving her a chance to experience behind-the-scenes moments that could benefit her professional path too. That’s not blackmail, it’s just being realistic.

I’d still take her to these events even if she refused to assist me, but I want her to see what the work we make together can achieve: an opening. I understand not everyone enjoys being on camera, but often spontaneity is what makes content genuine. Being recorded from time to time is an inherent aspect of being my friend. I'd remove anything she requested, but she hasn't made such a request yet.

I don’t expect anybody to be my personal videographer, but friends support one another in minor capacities. I thought recording a short video here or there would be fun for her. Innovation flourishes in partnership, and having Beth around makes projects lively and pleasurable. I don't compel her to take part in anything, and I’d never deliberately humiliate her. But filming together occasionally is part of how I record our time together.

I cherish our friendship deeply and don’t want making videos to come between us. I’m willing to compromise: like requesting permission before filming, and steering clear of angles that might make her self-conscious.

This is not about control, it’s about expressing my perspective while still respecting hers. Clearly content creation is not a substitute for real connection: it’s just part of how I live my life and I desire her to be included in a way that’s enjoyable for each of us.

Outside Perspectives: Reader Opinions

Should Marielle stop recording herself and her friend when they are socializing?

There’s nothing more excruciating than having a friend film you. I understand that it's her passion, but I don’t make friends come to my work. Perhaps she can find influencer friends to collaborate with. With the dark, looming future of AI, personal relationships are the only thing we have – don’t waste them!
Liberty, 25

When pursuing something professionally, you can’t ask your friends for help every time, even if they have helped previously. If Marielle loves creating, that doesn’t mean all those around her is willing material. She needs to honor Beth’s personal space.
Another reader, 26

She may enjoy producing videos and showing off her life publicly, but it’s not for everyone. It was kind she has helped Beth’s career, but she must to hear what Beth wants.
Emma, 27

It seems like you care about each other, so cling to that and make sure it’s the priority in your friendship. Foster some authentic memories, where genuine feelings are stored, not digital scrapbooks. In fact, celebrities who seem to reveal their worlds actually have more secrecy than it seems.
One opinion, 53

She seems to be not fully engaged nor authentic when they're together – she’s working. Each appears confused as to where the line is. The solution lies not in trying to change one another, but in each setting clear limits around what is comfortable to them and determining if there is an acceptable compromise.
A final view, 71

Now You Be the Judge

In an online poll: has she been exploiting their bond?