🔗 Share this article

“Well, the situation is pretty dire here. The guidance we offer all of our clients to invest all their resources into canned food and shotguns.” That bit of sage advice comes from the Brain Gremlin – a genetically modified, talking, bespectacled member of the slick creature crowd that swarms Manhattan’s super-smart Clamp Tower skyscraper in director Joe Dante’s madcap sequel Gremlins 2: The New Batch. On the surface, it’s nothing more than an investment tip from one monster to another. But, curiously, it’s also surprisingly sturdy life advice. Seriously, consider my perspective.

When things go bad, the worst thing you can do is view events with undue solemnity. The Brain Gremlin comprehends this. Indeed, most of the dentally-gifted beasts that inhabit Dante’s unrestrained 1990 movie (debateably his greatest) possess the same wry, meta funny bone regarding the indistinct border separating everyday life and unadulterated chaos. It’s a single component of Gremlins 2: The New Batch that keeps me coming back – and the older I get, it’s the theme that echoes the loudest.

An Early Life Fascination

Understandably, my fondness for this movie did not begin on such an philosophical plane. In my youth, we were limited to a few scratched-up video tapes at home. Part of that group were Gremlins and its second chapter, the latter housed in a thick former-rental sleeve probably bought from an non-chain rental store and sporting growling monsters on its knackered cover. I was instantly captivated and these films quickly proceeded lodging themselves inside my small, malleable brain. From then on, they became an almost-daily part of my youthful watching schedule.

Dante’s original typically gets all the accolades, thanks primarily due to its reputation as a semi-scary seasonal fave – and don’t get me wrong, I’ve watched Gremlins more times than I can count. That said, its successor seldom receives the same level of elevated esteem, which feels criminal. As a kid, I’d never miss an opportunity to watch Gremlins 2. During bright summer vacations, I’d seclude myself indoors and pop it in. When I obtained my very own TV-VHS combo unit, it stayed in constant rotation in my bedroom. With repetition, it etched itself permanently in my mental framework. If my parents detected this preoccupation, they gave no indication of concern.

Hidden Rewards and Societal Easter Eggs

As I matured, new revelations rewarded repeat viewings, amplifying the pleasure of watching diminutive verdant beasts gleefully trash a New York high-rise. I learned the forward-thinking development mogul and Clamp Tower owner, Daniel Clamp (John Glover), was modeled closely on future president Donald Trump, with his ginger staff member Marla (Haviland Morris) echoing his second wife Marla Maples. Luckily, Clamp possesses greater compassion than his real-life counterpart.

The “doomsday” video Clamp plays during the height of creature carnage? I discovered it was based on a real-life “Doomsday” video commissioned by the CNN boss Ted Turner should the world actually met its demise. I noticed how Dante went out of his way to film alternate cuts of a self-aware scene where Gremlins take over the exact movie you are viewing. One for cinemas, another for home video and television, each delivering a smirking slice of self-referential entertainment sorcery ahead of its time.

A Persistent Appeal

While it was creature designer Rick Baker’s fantastically vile creatures that drew my gaze as a child, this deeper gold kept me hooked as an adult. Eventually, I even spoke to Dante about it myself and he had no reservations revealing to me he made the movie with the express purpose of ridiculing those who loved its goofy-but-heartfelt predecessor and craved further installments. “We were going to make fun of the fact you came to see it,” he happily revealed. This Looney Tunes-esque rebelliousness and determination to not take his sequel as seriously as his Warner Bros bosses obviously desired, only made me love it even more.

When I experienced a sudden family bereavement not long ago, I was astonished to realize that, during my deepest grief, all I desired to do was sit and watch Gremlins 2: The New Batch. Strange, isn’t it? Possibly not. The nostalgic calm it furnished was needed to weaken my mind’s mourning mire – but the stuff it had bestowed upon me as an adult were similarly beneficial.

Like Gremlins tearing apart a genetics laboratory, there’s some things in life you just cannot manage. Dante understands this. The Brain Gremlin agrees completely. Sometimes, you have to follow their example: embrace the chaos, put everything you’ve got into canned food and shotguns and try not to view the world with undue solemnity.

It’s robust worldly wisdom from a very unlikely source – and it’s the reason Gremlins 2: The New Batch will forever remain my feelgood film.